thank you so much for inviting me to your party

Hi! Thanks so much for inviting me to your party. I didn’t have anything to do tonight and was actually planning on journaling and/or emotionally spiraling by candlelight until about 1:25 AM. This is good for me. I needed to get out of the house.

Sooo, so sorry to interrupt your conversation but I literally don’t care what you’re talking about. You’re the only people I know here though so I’m just going to talk really fervently about myself if that’s cool. Hope you don’t mind if I tell you really intimate details about all the people I’ve ever been in love with before launching into a rant about how important it is to “invest in good skincare” like a condescending soccer mom. Just trying to help :)

Do you know where the bathroom is in this place? I don’t need to go at all, but it seems like something I could do later. Maybe it could be the climax in this three-act dramedy that is Me Stepping Out of the House and Attending an Event with Real-Life People (it’s getting developed into a mini-series starring Julianne Moore as ME, and by that I mean I emailed HBO about the idea but they haven’t gotten back to me yet. “Give it time,” I whisper to myself every morning into my very black – yes, black! – coffee, “Give it time.”)

What was that? Oh, you called this party “absolute chaos?” I agree. But you know the etymology of the word chaos, don’t you? Oh, you don’t? Well, it’s actually a term borrowed from Ancient Greek meaning “infinite darkness” or “void.” (I pause for a second after; my brow is furrowed as if to say I have more depth than you. Then, I actually say that out loud accidentally. Oops!) I have more depth than you. 

The ambience in this room reminds me of an underground speakeasy. I went to one with a friend once when I was travelling abroad in Europe. You can’t even imagine what it was like walking down those stairs – what? You have to go? Don’t you want to hear me tell the rest of this adorable anecdote? I have pictures! You probably won’t understand them though because it takes a real photographer’s eye to notice the contrast of light and dark—and you’re gone.

Well, this was fun. And it’s only midnight, which means that I definitely have time to take a bubble bath and think very hard about why all of my previous relationships have failed (I’m a free spirit/too multi-dimensional to be understood/I refuse to put down my Moleskine, etc. etc.) 

Please let me know the next time you all are getting together. I’d love to catch up over matcha and by that I mean I’d love to hold you hostage in a coffee shop while reading confessional poetry I wrote during my Intro to Philosophy class. You’ll love it! See you later! And don’t forget all the stuff I told you about that expensive face serum with the fish eggs. It’s super exfoliating.